Synopsis | R04 (Part 3 of 3)

I’m so amazed at how far this Workshop has come since it started back in January. We started with 16 Participants and now we are here, almost at the end, and we have 7 left! Juggling life and work can be hard especially when you are trying to also “do what you love” which is why it’s always ideal to make your work be what you love. However, we are not all so fortunate (yet…) so in the meantime we find whatever minutes we can throughout the day to write and explore and create. The 8 (including myself) synopsis you are about to read were all created in a short amount of time (some could argue too short) and before the actual short story has been written (another valid argument…) so keep this in mind when offering up your feedback.

Be kind but most of all be constructive! I’m sure and I know everyone who has been a part of this Workshop has benefited from not only the exercise of writing but the feedback they’ve gotten and implemented along the way.

Each synopsis was to be no more than one page in length, which, if formatted correctly (double-spaced, 12pt font, Times New Roman) would amount to about 250 words. In an effort to keep formatting true to the sender I will be posting each submission in .pdf form below:

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EricaDrayton (Mystery)

Pt 4 - Synopsis - EricaDrayton

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ArthurCole (Mystery)

Pt 4 - Synopsis - ArthurCole

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Like Round Three, this round is just as extensive if not more so. There will be Four Rounds with two synopses in each post. When reading them think about the following questions when giving your feedback:

  • Is this formatted correctly and the right length?
  • Is there too much information given? How can this synopsis be scaled back? What can be cut?
  • Can you picture the story? Understand the Main Characters goal? Is the Antagonist present and clear?
  • On a scale of 1 – 10 how excited are you to read this short story? 1 = Not Much / 10 = Wicked Excited!

About E.L. Drayton

Writer of novels, short stories, scripts, and reviews.
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  • Nacho

    EricaDrayton
    1 – a little on the short side, but formatted correctly
    2 – there isn’t anything to cut so this question doesn’t need to be worried about
    3 – honestly this is a little skimpy, and while all the motivations are there I don’t understand the plot
    4 – I really want to read it just to learn what’s going on 7/10

    ArthurCole
    1 – formatted correctly but seems a little long
    2 – I think like me you wrote more of the ending than is necessary so once all that is cut you should be good
    3 – everything reads well, but some more information on the antagonist/killing the father would be nice, it seems a little forced
    4- 8/10, your works been good so far and this seems like an awesome story

    • Arthur Cole

      Hey Nacho, are you a member of the Writer’s Lounge Discord?

      • Nacho

        I don’t believe so, what is a discord?

        • Arthur Cole

          It’s a messenger app where we discuss writing and such things. You should sign up chat with us at the Writers Lounge Discord.

          Invite here: http://discord.gg/ky9aWgK

          • Nacho

            I’ll check it out. Thanks!

  • Arthur Cole

    1) Erica Drayton
    a. Format is great, but I want a little more in length. I feel like you build this wonderful world for the first 2/3, then the last third kind of deflates.

    b. Definitely not too much information. I am left wanting just a little more.

    c. This is the most clear your story has been to me. Your pitch was a little fuzzy, but I totally get it here and love it. The ending is still a bit fuzzy though. I don’t know how your with ends and that would be okay with a pitch, but your synopsis should be clear.

    D. 9/10 rating. The supernatural element here naturally entices me immediately so I can’t wait!

    2) ArthurCole

    Αυτή η σύνοψη είναι μου

    And yes, I know it’s too long (hence the small condensed font!)

    -Arthur Cole

  • Kamary

    EricaDrayton
    a) It’s formatted right and a right length.
    b) I think there’s just the right amount of information here. Honestly, I couldn’t think of where you could cute any slack with this.
    c) While I might not know much about the other characters besides Otto, I think I have a very good idea of the characters and the setting. I very much like the premise.
    d) I’d give it a 9/10

    ArthurCole
    a) I know you said you knew it was too long, but it’s far too long. In addition, the formatting is a bit off. Erica suggested a three paragrapgh format, but it’s also single space and the text is a bit small.
    b) There’s a bit too much information. I’d trim some at the beginning. I think there’s a lot of good information in the middle, but the beginning is a little too detailed.
    c) I think I have a good understanding of the protagonists of this story. I am a little fuzzy about the antagonist, however. I feel with the information included, I would understand the antagonist better.
    d) I’d give it a 6/10

  • artisticBard

    EricaDrayton (Mystery):

    a) This has both the correct formation and the correct length.

    b) The amount of information you gave was perfect! Just enough to tease us and leave us wanting more!

    c) Your synopsis leaves me with visuals that are just out of focus, and leave me with so many questions as I try to get a better look. Which is perfect for a story like this, seeing as in order to make the picture clearer, I would have to read the story. Otto’s motivation and goal was made clear, and we are left to wonder if the house is really the antagonist or not.

    d) Reading your synopsis again renewed my excitement for your story. The premise is really neat to me, and your synopsis just left me in so much suspense!! There are a few places where the grammar could be improved, but you’ve left me with a solid 10/10.

    ArthurCole (Mystery):

    a) While it’s still easy enough to read, your formatting is just a little off, which in turn makes the length of your synopsis look a little too long.

    b) I feel like there was a bit too much information given away here. Seeing as it is a mystery, I would have liked to be kept in suspense by the ending, but you gave it all away. You have a few run-on sentences that could be reworked, which would help immensely. As well as cutting back on some of the finer details of the story.

    c) While I can visualize certain parts of the story, the plot becomes lost in all the information that you’ve given us. I couldn’t help but feel a little confused while reading it. The goals of your main characters don’t really come across in the synopsis, and their weight in the story suffers because of it. Though it’s quite clear who the antagonist is.

    d) Because of the length, the information given, and the way it was written, your synopsis became difficult to read. I found myself struggling to get to the end. Revealing the end of the story without making any suspense really dampens my interest in it, leaving me at a 7/10.

  • BlueLikeATardis

    Erica – The length and formatting looks really good. There’s not too much information and there’s not too little; I can’t think of anything that could be cut. Your synopsis has been very clear and straightforward. I know the main characters goal as well as who our antagonist is, the House. Overall, 9/10.



    Arthur Cole – Formatting is a bit off and the length is a bit long as well. I see where you are going with this story and understand that it’s a mystery, but it did not quite feel like it. Just like me, I believe it tells too much of what is going on in the story. There’s nothing to keep me wandering because I now know everything. I am not quite 100% on the antagonist, but your protagonists goals are really clear and I have a great understanding of who they are. Overall, 9/10